Dear West
by pingo1387
Summary: While being held in Russia's house after WWII, Prussia is allowed to write letters to his little brother. Rated T for language and some violence. Some GerIta.
1. The First Letter

Dear West,

Can you believe it!? That bastard Russia is forcing me to live in his house! I asked him why the fuck he was keeping me here and he did that creepy smile and said "Spoils of war, Дa?" I didn't even do anything! Sure, I'm a Germanic nation, but the awesome me didn't even participate in the war! Damn, this is stupid!

Seriously though, West, I know you're probably beating yourself up over the Holocaust, and I know that basically everyone is blaming you for it, but listen to your awesome older brother for once – _it's not your fault._ It's your stupid crazy boss' fault, and no one else's! You were just following orders.

Anyway, so far, it's actually not as bad as I thought it would be here. I can wander the halls as I please (although I can't leave the house)… Russia isn't torturing me or anything, so my awesomely sexy body is injury-free! Belarus keeps giving me creepy looks, and the Baltics seem to be scared of me (score one for the awesome me!). I've caught glimpses of the other nations, like… uh… what was that one… Azerbaijan? Yeah, I've caught glimpses of Azerbaijan and Uzbekistan, but they mostly stay in their rooms.

One thing I can't figure out, though, is that there's a door at the end of my hall that won't open. I'm guessing the snow bastard (snow bastard? I'm starting to sound like Romano) has the key. I checked the keyhole, but it was too dark to see anything. Therefore, I'm making it my awesome duty to discover what lies beyond that mysterious door!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Give the prick a kick for me, will you?


	2. The Second Letter

Dear West,

Seems I'm finally getting (somewhat) settled in my un-awesome bedroom. Seriously, the walls are covered with _sunflowers_. I don't even like the color yellow! It's so retarded!

But anyway, I figured that as long I'm being kept in this un-awesome house, I should, like, talk to the others. I tried to talk to Ukraine, but her _boobs_… they are fucking huge. Seriously, there should be a law! I can _literally_ hear them bouncing from across the room! I mean, you know I like big tits, but man, talk about overkill…

Oh, so the Baltics seem to like me more now – apparently they really do think I'm awesome. Yeah! That's more than you've thought of me, West!

Well, other than that, everything's pretty much the same as last time.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Dude, write back.


	3. The Third Letter

Dear West,

Seriously, why haven't you written back!? I asked you to, and if I wasn't clear enough, _that was an order!_ I know you always follow orders, so what the hell! Do you just not care? Is that it? Am I not awesome enough for you? Impossible! I'm awesome enough for anything!

So, assuming that you're even _reading _this, it has become a rule that you must write back!

Got that?

Anyway, I was thinking last night at dinner (by the way, Russian food is horrible – don't try it) how to get back at Russia after this, and I guess I was sub-consciously looking at him while I was thinking, and the next thing I know, that Belarus chick has me on the ground with a knife at my throat, and she's hissing, _'Don't look at my big brother! He's mine!'_ I mean she was literally hissing. I think I saw a tongue flick out, and I'm pretty sure her pupils turned into slits, but maybe that was a dream I had last night.

Speaking of which, you were in my dream. I know that might sound creepy, but it was weird – you were kinda standing there with your back to me, then you turned around and said, 'Sorry, brüder, I have to go.' And then for some reason I was like, 'Okay, bye,' and then you turned and walked off the edge of the cliff, but you didn't really fall down and die, because the wings that you sprouted saved you and you flew off into the sunset… it pretty much stopped there.

Well, don't forget that rule.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Go ahead, give him another kick.


	4. The Fourth Letter

Dear West,

Sorry for yelling at you in my last letter. I just found out that Russian bastard is stopping your letters from reaching me! I'm not sure why he'd do that – maybe he wants to, like, make me feel depressed and lonely. So I'm going to try to get to your letters first, so this time I can write back to your letters. Huzzah!

Not much change since last time… still haven't found out what's behind that door.

Write back and maybe we'll have something to talk about?

Awesomely Yours,

Prussia

P.S. Sorry for the short letter.


	5. The Fifth Letter

Dear West,

Before I respond to your question, allow me to say one thing (like it would stop me if you didn't allow me): I TOTALLY CALLED IT! I've seen how you look at him, but _noooo_, you denied it every-fucking-time! Glad to see you're admitting it!

Now, as for the betrayal: I'm sure you've tried everything… everything you can _think_ of. You see, West, being much older, wiser, and awesome-er than you, I have thought of something that you have not!

Talk to him.

Awesome idea, right!? I'm sure that with your inferior brain you, in fact, have not thought of that. Just go up to him, maybe send a letter to him first to make sure he knows you're coming to visit and talk, not to hurt him or anything. Sit down, say hello, then say something like: "Italy, I'm not mad at you, but why did you betray me? Please tell me. I just want to know why." That sounds like the way you'd say it.

And you know what? I bet he had a really good reason! He must have a good reason. If he doesn't, hit him over the head, because that's not Italy, that's Romano in disguise. Not that Romano could keep up that façade for long.

Thanks for writing. Write back and let me know how it goes!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Tell Italy I said hi!


	6. The Sixth Letter

Dear West,

Hey, man, congratulations! Glad that you two finally got together. Good for you! Good job taking him to a five-star pasta place – I bet he just kissed you right there! I would, if I were him. I mean, um, not that I love you romantically! You're my brother, that's just weird!

Ahem, awkwardness aside, keep me posted on how things are going with him, 'k? If you don't, when I get back, I'll come over there and kick your ass myself, got it?

Oh yeah, also let me know what the prick and Hungary are up to, okay? I want to know if they get back together so I can make fun of them.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Seems like Russia's not going to torture me, like, at all. My awesomely sexy body is safe!


	7. The Seventh Letter

Dear West,

It's funny how you can take something for granted and suddenly… one day… you wake up to find that it's gone. In fact, it's funny how you can take _two_ things for granted and they disappear on the same day. Take yourself, for example. I've always assumed that you'd be there – whether to listen eagerly to my tales of awesome adventures, or to comfort me after a failed invasion – but now you're gone. I mean, you're not _dead_, but you're just… not with me, you know?

So sometimes I wake up and I really miss you. I mean _really _miss you. Like, I just want to see your face again, you know?

Maybe we should all just not take things for granted. Appreciate all the good things in life, like family, your country, or… your heartbeat.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. Those wet spots on the paper are from the glass of water I was drinking.


	8. The Eighth Letter

Dear West,

First off, sorry if my handwriting is kinda shaky on this one, but it's pretty difficult writing with my right hand. Oh? You want to know why I'm not writing with my left hand? See, it's also pretty difficult to write with a broken wrist. Oh? You want to know why my left wrist is broken? You know what? I'll just tell you, instead of you asking all these questions.

So I was pretty depressed because of my country being gone, and kinda moping around Russia's house, and I bumped into him. So he looks at me and says, "You should be happy, little Gilbert. I do not like it when people are depressed around my house and in front of me." So I was like, "Fuck off. I can be depressed if I fucking want to, you snow bastard." So then he kinda frowned and said, "Do not take that tone with me if you know what's good for you, Pru-sea." I guess that meant 'the Awesome Prussia'. So I just said, "Fuck off!" and pushed him. He's so fucking huge that it didn't really hurt him, but then his face got really scary and he started chanting 'kol-kol-kol-kol-kol' over and over. I swear his voice got deeper. So he dragged me by my left hand to the end of the hallway (that's how my wrist got broken, by the way), all the way to that door that I mentioned before. He opened it, and I got this chill, like the time Hungary put snow down my back. There were all these creepy machine-things, like one with a ring that had spikes in the middle, and this other thing that looked like it was for hanging… anyway, that bastard grabbed me and forced me onto this platform. He tied me down really fast, like, faster than Italy runs away. Then he started pouring water down my throat – I had to swallow it, I would've choked. So he keeps doing that for, like, ten minutes straight, and _then_ he grabs this giant paddle-bat-I-don't-fucking-know thing and whacks me in the stomach really hard. He kept doing it until I started throwing up water. And when he did it, he was singing. I don't know, a really creepy Russian song. Then he set it down and forced more water down my throat, and kept doing this. So that went on for about four times and I must have been really pale. I could barely stand. He carried me back to the room I was staying in, and he laid me down like a baby. Then he left the room and I guess I passed out, because when I woke up, it was time for dinner.

Anyway, that's also why I haven't written to you for, like, a year – he said that it was part of my 'punishment.'

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. My wrist's almost healed, but it's still in a sling – maybe another month and I can write to you properly.


	9. The Ninth Letter

Dear West,

Sorry for being all angsty and crap in my last two letters. I'll try not to do that anymore, okay? Also, you could probably tell, but my wrist's fine now.

Anyway, to answer your question…

You might want to sit down for this.

See, the reason Italy was crying in his sleep and saying "Holy Rome", was because… a long time ago, there was a nation that was called the Holy Roman Empire. Modeled off of Italy's Grandpa Rome, of course, but mostly called that because the people believed that they could rise to a great empire like Rome did. So at one point, somewhere around the Italian Renaissance, Austria, Hungary, and Italy (at the time, a little kid) all lived in Holy Rome's house. Basically Austria was Italy's boss, and he and Holy Rome handled most of the affairs. Also, this isn't really important, but Italy had a really squeaky voice, and everyone thought he was a girl. Austria made him wear this green-and-white maid outfit… but I digress.

So Italy was really scared of Holy Rome at first, but eventually warmed up to him. But Holy Rome would get nervous and run away, especially when Italy touched his hand. One day Holy Rome was going to leave for war, and asked Italy to become an official part of the Holy Roman Empire with him. Italy said no, because he knew that his grandpa fell because he got too big, and he didn't want that to happen to Holy Rome.

Holy Rome was leaving the next day, and Italy begged him not to go. He gave Holy Rome his panties, which was sweet and kinda weird. Holy Rome confessed that he had loved Italy since the 900's. And… they kissed. It was really sweet, or so Holy Rome told me.

The Holy Roman Empire left for war after promising Italy that he would come back. Italy said that he would wait for Holy Rome forever. And so Holy Rome launched himself into a long war.

Now listen, you've heard of France's old boss Napoleon, right? Bonaparte, the midget megalomaniac, kept his hand in his jacket… anyway, in war, the bastard stood over Holy Rome, who was unconscious at the time. He was bringing down his sword for the final blow, but just as I was running in to save Holy Rome, France came barreling out of nowhere and tackled his boss to the ground. It was one of the awesomest things I'd ever seen, and I'd seen myself in the mirror. So France started screaming at his boss – I didn't know much French at the time, and I still don't know much, but I think he was saying something like 'don't hurt him, he's just a child.' So while those two were yelling at each other and probably punching and kicking, I carefully lifted Holy Rome off the ground and took him back to our house.

Yeah, I said our house. Holy Rome was – is – my little brother. I'll explain that in a minute, if you haven't figured it out by now.

So he was unconscious, or I guess in a coma, for about a week. You know, back then, around the early nineteenth century, the medical care was… not that great. If Holy Rome hadn't been a country, he would have died. But he woke up, and when he did… he didn't know who I was, who _he _was.

I was going to tell him his name, but then I realized that if he knew that he was the Holy Roman Empire, Napoleon might come back to kill him. So I gave him a new name, a new identity.

That name was Germany.

So, West, that's the story. Italy was crying because Holy Rome, because _you_, never came back to him. I know it's not your fault, so don't go beating yourself up over it. This is also why you don't remember anything from your childhood.

You still don't remember, do you? So if that doesn't help, try… hm… in the attic, check the dresser. The really old one, the one that's covered in dust. Then again, everything's covered in dust up there… anyway, open the top drawer, there should be the pair of panties that Italy gave you. See if that sparks anything.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. If seeing / holding / sniffing the panties doesn't work, I think America has a baseball bat…


	10. The Tenth Letter

Dear West,

I'm really glad you got your memory back! Italy's ditzy tendencies came in handy for once, huh? At least you didn't have to go to America.

So I was eating a crappy breakfast and reading a newspaper, trying to keep up on what's happening in my country (though I guess that it's _our_ country now), and I read that these people at America's place are using _electric guitars_. They looked so fucking cool! I bet they sound way better than regular guitars, too. If I had an electric guitar, I'd want it to be black and white, like my awesome flag! But of course, as long as I'm stuck here, I can't get that. But you know, I'll write a song for it anyway… I think I'd like the chorus to start "Das großartige ich ist das beste! Das stärkste! Der, der zuletzt lacht, yeah! Es ist natürlich das großartige ich!"… and I guess I'll write the rest later.

Well, that's it for today.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. If you haven't told them already, can you let the prick, Hungary, France, Spain, Veneziano, and Romano know that the Earth has not been deprived of my awesome presence?


	11. The Eleventh Letter

Dear West,

Did the prick really faint? Ha, I guess I'm just too awesome for him to handle, even if I'm not there!

So lately, America's been coming over every other day, and he and Russia just sit down and stare at each other. It's really weird and kinda creepy. Sometimes they'll play chess, but it's always a draw. Either that or they'll play two games, and America wins one, and Russia wins the other. Afterward he says hi to all of us and leaves – seems that Liet's always really happy to see him… I think he used to work for America. Sometimes Russia goes over to America's house, and we'll have a party and talk about him behind his back when his psycho sister isn't around.

So yeah!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Latvia is one hell of a drinker, did you know that?


	12. The Twelfth Letter

Dear West,

Good news! You probably already heard it, but that total dickhead, Stalin, died! Apparently it was a stroke or a heart attack or something. Personally, I'd have loved to assassinate him.

Anyway, there's a new guy taking over, I think his name is Cruise-shave. He seems like an okay guy so far, and hopefully things'll get better for everyone, especially me (and the Baltics – I feel so sorry for them).

Oh yeah, tell Hungary I'm really sorry that she has to be communist, too. I bet it sucks. (But I don't see why _she_ doesn't have to live in this huge fucking house.)

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I'm not hearing much about your country, or at least your half, so how're things going over there?


	13. The Thirteenth Letter

Dear West,

Great job beating Hungary in soccer! It's like, suck it, girl! Glad to hear that your people are getting back some national pride!

So, back to the awesome me: I think that one of my biggest issues with living in this godforsaken mansion is that it's so goddamn _boring_. There's almost literally nothing to do! Plus, it's really annoying to wake up and the first thing I see is that fucking _yellow_ wallpaper. I mean, I'm fine with literally every other color, even orange, so of course this room has to be the one color I can't stand. Fucking bastard.

Oh yeah, so in the past few days when I'm trying to sleep, I hear voices coming from Lithuania's room. I asked him about it yesterday morning, and he said that Poland's been sneaking through his window to talk – even though we're all on the third floor, and as far as I know, he doesn't have a ladder… anyway, I talked to Poland last night, and you should probably know that he's definitely not the kind of guy to hold a grudge. Going on what Lithuania told me, he'll get over all that in at most a year, so don't worry about that, okay?

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Poland keeps calling Lithuania "Liet", just like me – so he must have stolen that nickname from me. It's too awesome of a nickname to have been made up by him!


	14. The Fourteenth Letter

Dear France,

Quit butting into my only communication with my little brother!

And no, I haven't gotten laid by Belarus or Ukraine!

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. West, if you're reading this, can you tell France from me that he's a jerk? France, if _you're_ reading this, you're a jerk!


	15. The Fifteenth Letter

Dear West,

Okay, I don't give a shit _what_ you did to Russia before the war, I told you that it's not your fault I'm here! That bastard keeping me prisoner here has _nothing_ to do with some stupid revenge or some shit like that! You got that, West!?

Anyway, now that that's out of the way... you probably know this already, but I just wanted to brag that my country's - sorry, my _half's_ - agricultural stuff is going really well now! I'm starting to warm up to this Nikita Cruise-shave guy. Russia, not so much.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Isn't "Nikita" a girl's name? Or maybe it's one of those names that can be a guy or girl, I don't know. Actually, I bet it is. Never mind.


	16. The Sixteenth Letter

Dear West,

What do you _mean_ it's spelled 'Khrushchev'? I'll keep spelling it the way I want to, thank you very much!

Anyway, as for why I'm writing to you, like, a year late – remember how I mentioned earlier that when Russia's away, we all get drunk? Well, apparently he caught us this time, because the next thing I remember is waking up with a bunch of bruises on my stomach. The Baltics looked pretty ill, too, so I guess Russia punished them too. Oh yeah, he said that I couldn't write to you for a while, so that's why.

So since my country's fucking _communist_ now, a bunch of people are moving to your side. That's good for them – I mean, of course I want more people in my country, but not when it's gone all crappy like this. At least moving to the other side is one thing that the stupid government can't take away from them.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Cruise-shave, Cruise-shave, Cruise-shave.


	17. The Seventeenth Letter

Dear West,

Thanks for the wurst – it was really good! Best thing I'd eaten in years! But don't send any more. Here's why: I accidentally left a scrap of leftover meat in my room. Russia must have been snooping around or something, because he asked what it was from. I didn't want to tell him that I've been getting your letters before he can stop them, so I said that I stole some meat from the kitchen. Luckily he didn't look too closely at it, or he would have realized… anyway, he didn't hit me or anything, but he did something _way_ worse: He scolded me. _Scolded _me! Like a little kid! And he did it in this really patronizing tone, too, so that was a really crappy experience.

That's all, thanks again.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Another reason not to send meat through the mail, at all, is that I think the wurst went bad in the package… ugh, my stomach… (still tasted good, though.)


	18. The Eighteenth Letter

Dear West,

Listen, can I tell you something? Of course I can, you can't stop me. Anyway, it's about this dream I had the other night…

I found myself walking with you, the prick, Hungary, Spain, France, Veneziano, and Romano along some city street. No one was there with us. There were some bicycles leaning against the curb, but no people attending them. We went into one building and no one was there. After walking back out the door, we went into the other buildings in the same manner and still there was no one there. We kept walking past the deserted buildings – sometimes I thought I saw people, but they were just store mannequins. Eventually we passed the buildings and city entirely and we just were on some deserted country road. I looked back, and the city was shrinking into the ground until it, well, disappeared. I looked forward, and I saw that the grass was disappearing too. It was shriveling up and dying in front of my eyes. I turned to you and saw you staring at me quietly. You said "You're all alone now, Gilbert." That was right before you dissolved right in front of me. I turned to Hungary, but she was dissolving too, and so were the prick, Veneziano, Romano, France, and Spain. You all just vanished, like you were breaking apart and being blown away by the wind. The world started disappearing, things shriveling, shrinking, dissolving, or burning up, vanishing. I collapsed and started to scream, holding my head in my hands. I screamed for you to come back, I screamed for Hungary, and France, and Spain, and Veneziano and Romano, and, God help me, I even screamed for the prick. I screamed for all of you to come back. By this point I was surrounded by darkness, by nothingness…

I guess I must have yelled in real life, because the next thing I know, I'm awake, I've got tears pouring down my face, and the Baltics, Ukraine (who was crying too), Russia, and Belarus were in my room. Belarus and Russia said that they just wanted to make sure I wasn't dead or dying and then they left. The Baltics and Ukraine comforted me a little after that (Ukraine kept crying, though)…

That's it, I suppose. I just hope I don't have that dream again.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. Do me a favor and keep this one to yourself, huh? If anyone's reading this over your shoulder, they're getting a kick in the arse when I get back.


	19. The Nineteenth Letter

Dear West,

This is bullshit. One of the _only_ freedoms my people have, and it's taken away. What _is_ this crap about a wall!? If people don't like the system, they can move somewhere else if they fucking want to! Ugh, it's just like…

FUCK.

Really… a fucking _wall_?

Sorry, I'm just so_ pissed_ about this whole situation.

In happier news, I wrote the first verse of my awesome song! It goes like "Jemand ruft, Ich werde gerufen… Alles klar, überlasst es mir, los geht's… Mehr! Mehr!... Zum Osten und zum Westen… Werde ich laufen… Wenn du dir das auch wünschst, Werde ich kommen und dich liebkosen!... Das ist richtig, wenn Kämpfen deine einzige Ansicht ist… Dann ist es das, was du tun musst…" and it goes into the chorus from there!

Of course, you can't hear it, but what do you think of the lyrics?

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I'm awesome.


	20. The Twentieth Letter

Dear West,

MY PEOPLE ARE AWESOME! Have you _heard_ of how many have started escaping from the crappy communism? I mean… a tunnel! Talk about ingenuity! Of course, I still haven't escaped from this goddamn house, but a tunnel isn't such a bad idea! If only I had something to cut it with… hold on, I'll be right back!

Never mind. Scissors don't work. Hm…

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. What do you mean you "Heard it on the television"? What the hell is a television and why don't I have one?


	21. The Twenty-First Letter

Dear West,

A television sounds awesome. I want one.

Oh man, I can't believe that I forgot to ask this before! How's Japan doing? With what America did to him, he must still be hurting. I hope he's okay.

Speaking of America, he's stopped coming over to this house. Now he and Russia just stare at each other from out their windows. I'm not sure how they even do that, but… well… they're doing it.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. …shit, I forgot what I was going to write here. Never mind.


	22. The Twenty-Second Letter

Dear West,

Okay, there're a couple of things going on at this house – you've probably heard them already on your _television_, but just in case you haven't…

The first thing is that this bastard's people _somehow _got a giant ship into the sky and into space. I hate to admit it, but it's actually pretty fucking awesome. They even managed to make it stay up for an entire day! Naturally, if I could still be with my country, we would have done it first, and stayed in space for longer than they did.

The second thing is that… well, you remember the Cruise-shave guy? He got kicked out of power. It's too bad; he wasn't a bad guy, especially with him being a Russian and all. Anyway, two guys are sharing power now – I think their names are Bread-never and Costly-jean. Why the fuck would someone be against bread?

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I'm sorry about Japan – I hope he feels well enough soon to be out and about… even though he usually just stays indoors anyway…


	23. The Twenty-Third Letter

Dear West,

Hey, I was right: Television _is_ awesome. You-know-who just got one and everyone likes watching it together. It's really weird, having something like that right in front of you, and being able to turn it on and off at any time! Sometimes, on some channels, they'll show pictures from America's moon landings (I think he and Russia are in some kind of race), and the moon looks… um, kind of boring, actually. But maybe they'll find some people living on it or something. Anyway, you-know-who seems to get really pissed whenever they show those, because he'll change the channel or turn it off and he'll have his weird creepy purple aura. You know the one.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Who do you think will put an actual person on the moon first, America or Russia? I'm hoping for America.


	24. The Twenty-Fourth Letter

Dear West,

Being stuck in this house is getting to me… I had another bad dream last night. This time, I was in a museum with you, but at some point you stopped coming with me. I looked back and I thought that you were standing in front of a statue and looking at it, so I walked up to you, but… I realized that you were just a painting on the wall. I looked around a bit more and found out that all the paintings and statues were fake too, and when I tried to leave, I found out that the exit was painted on too… then I woke up.

Damn, I _really_ wish that I could go outside. Maybe if I could steal Russia's keys, because, you know, he has keys for _every single fucking door and window in this goddamn house_.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Do you know anything to get rid of nightmares, like doing something right before bed? I'm kind of tired of this crap about everyone I care about (prick not included) disappearing.


	25. The Twenty-Fifth Letter

Dear West,

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm not sure that I want to take it if it came from the prick.

Did you hear about the "Space Treaty" thing? If you didn't, apparently Russia, England, and America signed something that says that they're not allowed to put giant weapons in space, on the moon, or anything else in outer space… personally, I'd be pretty fucking terrified if Russia put some kind of nuclear bomb on the moon. We'd all be doomed.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. On second thought, I'll take the suggestion.


	26. The Twenty-Sixth Letter

Dear West,

I know that this is a weird request, but honestly, I'm sort of desperate here.

Do you think that you could borrow one of England's magic books and send it to me? I swear I'll send it back as soon as I'm finished with it. I don't really believe in that shit much, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, right? It seems to hurt him most of the time, but then again, I'm _way_ more awesome than he is. Those eyebrows aren't helping his case either.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. The getting-rid-of-nightmares thing is working so far… so I _guess_ you can tell the prick thanks from me. Hmph.


	27. The Twenty-Seventh Letter

Dear West,

Okay, a couple of things have happened, and I'm sure that you already know of one…

The first one is that the magic thing… didn't actually work. (You should get the book with this letter.) I tried some spell to bust out of here, but the only thing that it did was make a GIANT burn mark on the floor. When Russia found out, he dragged me off to the torture chamber, _and_ I had to spend the rest of the day cleaning the burn off the floor as much as possible. The only good news out of that is that I grew another inch.

The second thing is that I win the bet! America put a man on the moon! I really wanted to see it on the television, but the second that Big Snowy realized what was happening, he shut off the T.V. and stormed away. He didn't come out for the rest of the night, and we all heard crashing and drunken angry Russian cursing. So… yeah, that was a bit disappointing.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Oh yeah, by the way, the only other thing that happened when I tried to do the magic thing is that that night, the dinner tasted waaaay shittier than it usually does. But Big Snowy said that we all had to finish it anyway, "Or it's off to the Fun Room, дa~?"


	28. The Twenty-Eighth Letter

Dear Spain,

Did France ask you to send me a letter this way? I bet he did. Don't listen to him. Look, I'll talk to you guys plenty when I get back.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. France, if you're there, don't ask Spain to do stuff for you.


	29. The Twenty-Ninth Letter

Dear West,

No, it's okay. Those guys are just trying to be funny.

You know… these letters are great and all… I mean, it's great to communicate with you, even when I'm in this fucking house... but it's not the same as hearing your voice. I know this sounds weird, but I really want to hear _you_ talking, not just imagine your voice through pen and paper.

Honestly, I'm scared that I'll forget what you sound like. I don't ever want that to happen.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. Sorry for telling you that… it's not like you can send your voice through the mail, right?


	30. The Thirtieth Letter

Dear West,

So you _can_ send your voice through the mail! That is so awesome! Why didn't I think of that? I'd love to send you one back, seriously, but for some reason, even though Big Snowy has a cassette player in this fucking mansion, there aren't any cassettes. But the awesome me will keep looking!

Good to hear that you're doing good, and everyone else too!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Have you gotten laid with Italy yet?


	31. The Thirty-First Letter

Dear West,

I'll just take that as a "no".

So the Olympics this year… yeah, they were pretty awesome. Of course, I couldn't actually _go_ and _be there_, but I got to see it on the television while Big Snowy went and got to represent the Soviet Union. I don't _ever_ count myself as part of the "Union", so that's really not fucking fair.

Anyway, good job in the games and all that! It's really too bad about the whole killings thing, though. What was it, like, twenty deaths? But even with all that, I feel like everyone's definitely getting more comfortable with you now! I mean, no offense, but I feel like after the war (I know, sorry for bringing it up) a bunch of the nations were a bit nervous about you… but this kind of thing really helps, you know?

Hey, I want to know… are you really, or at least mostly, over that? If not, your awesome older brother can give you words of comfort! But don't let my awesomeness scare you away.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Hey, stop running away! I said not to let my awesomeness scare you off!


	32. The Thirty-Second Letter

Dear West,

That's good – I know you'll get over it fully someday!

And… wow! Thanks for telling me! Yeah, you're right, I _did_ assume that he made it over there safely. I was actually getting worried, because you hadn't said anything… but yeah, good to know! I swear, that bird can understand human-talk. When I let him go so that _he_ wouldn't be stuck here too, I told him to go to your place – and he did!

Thanks for taking care of him!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Tell him that the Awesome Prussia says hi!


	33. The Thirty-Third Letter

Dear West,

Damn, you had a fight with Italy? I didn't even think that was possible! I'm serious, it was literally on my list of Things that are not Possible, right up there with me not being awesome!

Okay, here's what I'm thinking: You said you fought over a "little" thing, right? So now that you've calmed down (hopefully) from your tiff, think about whether it was really _your_ fault or _his _fault. I'm serious – don't just go "Well, it's totally his fault". _Think _about it.

Once you've thought about it… if it's his fault (and I somehow doubt that, no offense), give him time to say he's sorry. After he's said it, then _you _apologize. If it's your fault, you say "Sorry I was stubborn, Italy. Can we kiss and make up?" and he'll go "I'm sorry too, Germany!" And then you two can have a beautiful make-out session.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Or have sex, either one.


	34. The Thirty-Fourth Letter

Dear West,

I don't know if you saw this – it was definitely on the television, but I have no idea whether it was put out to the whole world or it was just the Soviet "Union". Even if you did see it, I just need to talk about it. I'll assume you're fine with that.

That day… I woke up, got dressed in unawesome clothes, combed my awesome hair, and came downstairs to have unawesome breakfast. Same as usual, you know? I didn't think anything different was going to happen that day. But as soon as I finished with my breakfast, Big Snowy comes up to me and he says with that child-smile "Pru-sea, come here for a minute." I said "No. Fuck off." Then he said something about going to the Fun Room, so I went over there. He asks me to turn around, and I did… well, doing that was a big mistake. He grabbed my wrists – catching me totally off-guard, I'm ashamed to say – and he handcuffed them together. So I turned back to him and yelled "What the fuck!" and he says "Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm going to show off you, little Lithuania, little Estonia, little Latvia, and everyone else on television to prove my power!"

Naturally, I was pissed. He also said that he put the handcuffs on me so that I wouldn't run away – which meant that I was the only one wearing them. He… he showed me and everyone else in front of the television cameras, and he pointed each of us out and told everyone watching who we were and that he currently had those countries "under his control".

When he said that, I started yelling stuff at him – I don't even remember what I said, I was so mad. So he claps one of his _fucking terrifying _gigantic hands over my mouth and says "Pru-sea here tends to act up. Please forgive him, he's still becoming accustomed to living with me." And I keep struggling and trying to get out, but he's pretty strong. He looks down at me and he says "Isn't that right, little one?" and I'm about to shake my head, but then I see his eyes.

Gott, his eyes. I just saw them and something in them told me that if I didn't cooperate, there'd be hell to pay later. So as much as I hated to do it, I nodded. He smiled and let go of my mouth, but I was too scared to say anything.

What an unawesome day.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. If you did happen see it… don't judge me by it, okay?


	35. The Thirty-Fifth Letter

Dear West,

Thanks, little bro… I'm feeling better now, mostly thanks to you! Oh, and my awesome recovering abilities, of course.

I definitely should have mentioned this before, but in case I didn't – it's _really_ fucking boring in this house. So I've started playing chess with the Baltics to pass the time. Sometimes Big Snowy comes and watches us, which is kind of creepy, and he'll comment on the moves, like "Oh, that was a mistake. You would be crushed if this were a real army." or "I could easily destroy you in battle, little one." so that makes it _more_ creepy.

Anyway, I usually win at the games, but sometimes they win – I figure it's just that thing… law of averages? Yeah, that's it. Win some, lose some.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. It would be cool if we could play chess, but I'm pretty sure that you can't send a chessboard with all the pieces in the right places through the mail. But hey, I was wrong about the voice thing, so… maybe?


	36. The Thirty-Sixth Letter

Dear West,

You can't? That sucks.

You know, I know I said a lot that I hate yellow, but I was thinking, and I realized that I usually don't mind yellow… like sunrises and sunsets and your hair and my awesome little bird. So maybe it's just the sunflowers, I don't know.

Big Snowy got super drunk the other day. I tried to ask him where the keys were, but he just yelled stuff in Russian. I didn't understand it, but it sounded kind of like "Nee bah sho deelah!" So I was like "Screw you" and went to see if I could swipe some food from the kitchen.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Did you know that he keeps these raw meat slabs just hanging on hooks in the kitchen? It's creepy as fuck.


	37. The Thirty-Seventh Letter

Dear West,

I don't know if I told you yet, but I finished my awesome song! But I can't actually play an electric guitar yet, so it'll have to wait.

I might have mentioned before that it's not your fault that Russia's keeping me here… turns out that it's actually my fault. I just remembered last night that when I was the awesome Teutonic Knights, I bothered Russia a lot… so part of this might be because of that. He kind of turned the tables on me, huh?

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. When I get out of here, I'm gonna be like "Auf Wiedersehen, motherfucker."


	38. The Thirty-Eighth Letter

Dear West,

Damn, that was awesome to hear about. Two groups got away from my country in a hot-air balloon! I have no idea how they did it, but… wow! Of course, ordinarily I'd want them to stay in my country, but in this case, I think it's better if they go to your place instead.

Oh yeah, Poland's stopped coming over. I think he lost his ladder or whatever he was using to get up to Liet's bedroom.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. He still calls Liet on the phone, though. It bugs the hell out of Big Snowy.


	39. The Thirty-Ninth Letter

Dear West,

I just checked the calendar and good fucking Gott, it's been 35 years. It felt like it was longer, and I don't even know how many more years or decades I have to endure living with Big Snowy.

A few days ago, I was looking for the key to the main door, and I found a weird kid's book – Alice something or other. It was really weird, but kind of cool. It's actually the first book I've read in a while, because every single other one is in Russian. This one looked British, so I'm guessing no one bothered to make a Russian version (I mean, not that anyone should _want_ to). But for a non-German book, it wasn't bad.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I've got a riddle for you! Why is a raven like a writing desk?


	40. The Fortieth Letter

Dear West,

I think the Baltics are starting to grow spines. Big Snowy asked Latvia to put something away for him, and Latvia said "No". He did it about two seconds later, but that was pretty impressive for him. Honestly, I'd have thought that it would be Estonia to do that first.

Also, why the fuck do guards have to shoot people who get too close to the Wall!? What if they're not going to try and escape, what if they're just going to add graffiti or something – wait, that's illegal too… hm.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. That was a pretty good answer, actually. The one in the book was "I haven't the slightest idea."


	41. The Forty-First Letter

Dear West,

So… I heard Italy kicked your ass in soccer. What was it, like, 3-1? Did he offer pity-sex afterwards? Because if he didn't, he should have.

There are some protests starting up against communism in some of the nations in the Soviet "Union". I totally want to go out and join them, but… well, the whole "Trapped-In-This-God-Fucking-Damn-Mansion" thing sort of prevents me from doing anything significant.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I _did_ manage to hide a bunch of Big Snowy's vodka bottles. I don't think he noticed, though, because he has so many. I'll hide more next time, I guess.


	42. The Forty-Second Letter

Dear West,

Big Snowy seems more depressed than usual lately. He's been drinking a lot more and smashing the bottles when he's done. It's not like he's an angry drunk or anything, he just seems kind of… sad. Plus, whenever one of us gets too close to him, he turns and reaches into his coat, and then he sees that it's not an enemy and goes to drink some more.

Speaking of paranoia (is that a word?), I noticed that he tends to shoot down, like, _anything_ that gets into the air, even if it was an accident. He shot down a Korean craft just this week for violating his territory or some bullshit like that. I bet if I got some balloons and released them into the sky, they'd start a freaking war. Not a "Let's-glare-at-each-other-and-see-who-fires-first " war like he's got going with America, but an actual war, like WWII.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. I decided not to hide his vodka.


	43. The Forty-Third Letter

Dear West,

Can nations get depressed? I mean, like, actually depressed, not just sad? Because I'm feeling depressed. This fucking dreary atmosphere in this house feels like it's creeping into my non-beating heart… _wow_ that was poetic. Maybe I should write a book on the effects of living in a goddamn mansion with an angry-sad drunk.

The other day, I was finishing a chess game with Lithuania… it ended in a draw. We went to shake hands, but when our hands touched, he kind of jumped and yanked his hand away. I was like "What?" and he was like "Oh, it's nothing!" and we shook hands, but he seemed kind of nervous about it. So I went to Estonia later and was like "Here, hold my hand for a sec." he was like "Okay," and took my hand, but then he kind of jumped and took his hand away too. I asked him about it, and he said that… he said that my hand felt like ice.

Sincerely,

Prussia

P.S. If I get out of here and see you again, and I feel that cold to you… please don't take your hand away.


	44. The Forty-Fourth Letter

Dear West,

Maybe? Well, isn't that vague. Seriously, if you don't know, that's fine. I'm feeling better now, anyway – your letters always cheer me up.

There's this weirdo, Me-hyle Goreba-shave, who's been elected with this bullshit title of "President of the Soviet Union". But with all that power he's got, he looks more like a king to me. An old Communist king.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Thanks, little bro.


	45. The Forty-Fifth Letter

Dear West,

So America finally signed that thing outlawing genocide. I don't really get that – it's like, what, it was okay before?

A bunch of riots and shit are going down in the Baltic states – mostly at Latvia's place. He's still scared of Big Snowy, though.

Speaking of the devil, he's not been eating. He's just been drinking vodka – a couple of bottles at breakfast, a few at lunch, and a lot at dinnertime. And that's not counting the ones he has in between meals. He passed out the other day on the floor, and Liet and I carried him to his bed.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Hey, don't get the wrong idea! I still hate his guts! I just hate seeing people passed out on the floor unless it's at a party!


	46. The Forty-Sixth Letter

Dear West,

So that speech by America's boss Ray-gun (which, by the way, is the second best name ever) was pretty fucking awesome. I don't get why there's not much stuff on the television about it. All of these filthy communists are saying stuff like "Oh, he's trying to start a war" but I'm saying "No, he's not, dummkopfs". It's pretty cool that he just went up and did that. I'm going to put that one line about tearing down the Wall in my list of favorite quotes (it'll be the only line that isn't from me).

The Wall is gonna come down soon. At least, I hope so.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. Things between America and Big Snowy are kind of settling down. Maybe one day they'll be friends. No, never mind.


	47. The Forty-Seventh Letter

Dear West,

I don't know how the hell they did it, but the Baltics broke out. I just woke up one day and Big Snowy was in my room (scared me really fucking bad), saying "Pru-sea, where are the little ones? Are you hiding them?" I was like "What the fuck are you talking about?" so he told me that he couldn't find the Baltics. I helped him look – because I wanted to know, too, not to actually help him – but they just weren't there. I'm pretty happy for them, of course, but kind of pissed that they didn't take me with them. Oh well, I'll get out soon enough (I hope).

Anyway, a couple days after that happened, I was listening to the radio and heard some stuff about revolutions in the Baltic states. I figured that they were there, with their respective countries – at least I hoped they were, and that something terrible hadn't happened to them.

Speaking of radio, I can actually listen to stuff now that isn't all about communist shit. I don't get static anymore – it's almost like Big Snowy's people were blocking those other stations. He seems kind of resigned when he hears those stations.

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

P.S. There's also some kind of economic reform happening. I don't know how that'll work out, but I'm hoping that something will happen in which I end up getting out of here.


	48. The Last Letter

Dear West,

About fucking time Hungary opened her section of the wall. I bet she just ran in there with her skillet and did her thing. Maybe this will start a trend – maybe the countries around her will start taking down their parts of the wall. Either way, my people have a way to get out without much resistance.

Okay, listen to this (or read, or whatever): I finally found where the key to the door is. Big Snowy was coming back from some meeting, and when he turned around and locked the door, I saw him drop the key in his coat pocket! I'm going to try and get it when he's sleeping tonight, so I should be out of here within the next couple of days or so.

It's hard to believe that I'm finally getting out. I think I'll almost miss Ukraine and maybe Belarus. I already miss the Baltics a bit – playing chess with them was a good way to keep my sanity. Of course, I won't miss Big Snowy.

Of course, you know that I miss you the most. And everyone else, too – Ita, Hungary, France, Spain, Romano, and the prick (sort of). I can't wait to see you all again!

Don't worry, West, I'll just hitchhike and walk the way. I'm pretty sure I know which mushrooms are poisonous and which aren't, so I'm good for food. I'm guessing I'll be there in… I don't even know how long it'll take.

Wait for me, little brother! I'll be there!

Awesomely yours,

Prussia

* * *

**Two more chapters...**


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